by Francine PascalWelcome to "If I Were a Rich Girl," or Sweet Valley Twins #39, "Jessica and the Money Mix-Up."
First off, I must say that the twins featured in the drawings for the early SVT books are my closest imaginings of what the Wakefield twins should look like. They are VERY pretty. The twins on the covers of SVH are just average. I know SVH was first, but they should have just aged the SVT twins for the SVH covers. Also, the twin models for the Sweet Valley Jr. High books are very gorgeous. Sr. Year girls aren't bad either, but it's like they just get more average looking as they grow up.
Anyway, I like SVT because Jess is less of a sociopath (sometimes) than she is in the very beginning books of SVH. Jessica is particularly panic-stricken on this cover because that tennis racket was supposed to contain $500 dollars! Mr. Wakefield is the only parent around the house this particular week, and he asks Jessica to run an errand for him to prove that she is, in fact, responsible (she isn't). He's been very stressed out, so Jess readily agrees. She has to deliver the $500 of charity money to Mr. Hopper a couple blocks over. She gets waylaid by gossip extraordinaire Caroline Pearce, natch. She misses Mr. Hopper and has to hide the money in the tennis racket cover to deliver to him in the morning. Since this is Jessica we are dealing with, we can't honestly expect the money to be there in the morning. And, what do you know... it isn't! Hijinks ensue.
Liz the Doormat is recruited by Jess to help her find the missing money. They follow a bunny trail around town until they realize that the person with the racket no longer has the money in the pocket. What to do now? The twins create Helping Hands to earn back the money. They suspect they will earn $500 in the coming week before Mr. Hopper returns home. Excuse me while I snort milk through my nose. They end up making $45, but it is nowhere near their goal. The other option is for Jessica to win $1,000 from their local radio station. All she has to do is guess the title of five songs of her favorite singer, Johnny Buck. Jessica gets chosen, but she flubs the name on the last one. She is ready to surrender defeat to her father at this point, until she notices a brown envelope fall out of his pocket the next day. It's pretty easy to guess that he's had the money this whole time (the racket fell on his head the day after Jessica hid the money). Jessica is beyond relieved and, because her family is a bunch of enablers, she is let off the hook. Liz and Mr. Wakefield agree to deliver the money. Jessica shockingly suggests to use their $45 from Helping Hands to replace a blouse of Liz's that she ruined. I was so surprised by Jessica's act of goodwill that the book nearly fell out of my hands. Now, to share with you my favorite part of reviewing these books: quotes from the book itself!
"An hour later, Jessica finally hung up the phone. She had decided to wear her stone-washed jeans and a yellow t-shirt."
I quite like this outfit. I know stonewashed jeans of the late 80s/early 90s weren't all that fantastic, but I am picturing what it could like here in 2013, and I am liking the results. If she wore a pair of Toms, Converse, or Keds with this, Jess would really be stylin'.
"The day before that test, she had bought the brand new Johnny Buck album, Pass the Buck. It was only natural that she had spent the whole evening listening to it instead of studying."
First of all, Pass the BUCK?! Really? For real? In real life? Secondly, music is my religion, but I know I didn't come by my 3.7 GPA by absorbing albums through osmosis. I would like to see Jessica truly give a shit about something just once in her life. Just once!
"'Oh no,' Jessica moaned. 'That means something really hard. Like reading a whole long book or something.'"
Can you imagine if someone forced Jessica to make it through a Super Edition of Sweet Valley High or Twins? She can probably only handle books up to 60 pages long. With pictures.
"For most of the evening, they had skated in a big group, holding hands as they circled the rink. Jessica was very proud of the fact that she had only fallen twice."
Are they best friends or a cult? Wait, don't answer that. But seriously, guys. Even in 1990 (the year this book was published), who skated around holding hands in a circle? Wouldn't that hamper everyone else's progress? I feel like the kumbaya stuff is something better left for Girl Scouts. It was just a weird mental image to get. Also, is "only falling twice" really something to be proud of? Isn't Jessica supposed to be oh-so-perfect at everything? I am appalled right now. APPALLED.
"'You just wait,' Jessica responded hotly. 'I'm very lucky.'"
Oh, and here I thought being a sociopath was genetic. I didn't realize it had anything to do with luck.
"She sorted through the stack until she found Johnny Buck's very first album, and gently set the record on the turntable."
Wait, the Wakefields have a turntable?! I can't believe I'm reading about records in this book. I feel so old. I'll be 26 at the end of July. Yikes. How dare those Wakefield make me feel my age!
|Title||Jessica and the Money Mix-Up (Sweet Valley Twins, #39)|
|eBook format||Paperback, (torrent)|
|File size||7.4 Mb|
|Book rating||4.14 (151 votes)