by Thomas GordonA book about Parent Effectiveness Training, taken from interviews from parents who have taken it. There are a lot of interesting stories in it, and provides a lot to teach about parenting. I just kept thinking about how I wish my parents had taken P.E.T. A lot of it is very familiar with anyone who knows a bit about interpersonal communication and techniques such as Nonviolent Communication: I-messages, active listening, etc. I'm not sure if it would have been better to read the original book, simply called Parent Effectiveness Training. I felt like I got the gist of the approach from this book, with the added advantage of learning what they've discovered since they'd written that book, and see how it works in real life.
Something I really like is what they call "Method 3." Method 1 is controlling and authoritative, and Method 2 is permissive. Both approaches cause a lot of problems. Method 3 is neither controlling nor permissive. It's about knowing who owns which problems, and leaving it up to them to solve them, while remaining completely engaged. Kids love to solve their own problems. It empowers them, and it takes so much stress off the parents' shoulders. Kids know how to police themselves. They take their parents with them wherever they go. If their parents are too controlling and nagging, their inner parent will constantly trigger rebellious feelings, but if their parents have gained their kids respect and trust, their inner parent will become a guide.
The best part of this book is the very end. It's an essay submitted by a parent who has taken P.E.T. Two of her kids were into drugs and ran away from home, moving to a different state. She was at her wits end and had no clue what else to do when she took P.E.T. This allowed her to start engaging with her kids in a new way and the results were miraculous. They formed new relationships with their kids and they became very close.
|Title||P.E.T. in Action|
|eBook format||Mass Market Paperback, (torrent)|
|File size||2.5 Mb|
|Book rating||4.45 (12 votes)