by Sarah HendrickxVery thought provoking.Some things I want to consider further:
Keith's question," Are all my actions so selfish, so calculated to assure I get what I want?Ask yourself what are your own motivations?Do only I have the gall to say it?" p.124
I agree with Sarah's assertion that she must take care of herself and her needs.It is her responsibilty to have her needs met, and he is not responsible.I agree with this, but it is difficult to know what one's needs are, and then to express them in a way that an AS partner might understand them.The difficulty lies in the fact that the best communication for him is non emotional, but most of my unmet needs are of an affective nature.Also, I cannot talk out my needs with my partner.He cannot hear rambling thoughts because it is too confusing.Whatever I say first is the only thing he remembers and comprehends.However, I need to talk out my feelings in order to pinpoint my needs so I can present them to him.He is more than willing to accomodate me when I can be clear, but the problem is I can only be clear if I have had a chance to verbally ramble.Since we move every two years it is difficult to maintain relationships in which I can ramble my thoughts out and identify my needs before I present them to my partner.Eventually this can lead to feelings of isolation, depression and abandonment, all the time I have a loving and caring spouse who is looking on, seeing that something is wrong and baffled about how to fix it.Then he gets hurt because he feels isolated from me, then he gets depressed.And so the cycle goes until I muster enough strength to break out of isolation and connect with a friend.
Sarah's suggestion of using a scale from 1-10 to express emotions so that Keith can understand them better is somthing that I am going to use. p117
This was a helpful book as it illuminated Keith's thought processes and helped me see why my partner has difficulties with decisions and dealing with my emotional reactions.However, I find that a lot of the difficulties that I face are not addressed in this book because I have chosen to have children with my partner and I do not feel that I can just leave if my needs are not met.I have chosen that leaving is not an option.In the spirit of the book, the positive is that my partner has also chosen that.The negative is that I think that we have a lot more chances to grate at eachother without relief.
|Title||Asperger Syndrome - A Love Story|
|eBook format||Paperback, (torrent)|
|Publisher||Jessica Kingsley Publishers|
|File size||1.4 Mb|
|Book rating||4.37 (15 votes)